That's Not Funny, That's SICK!
Friday, Sept. 28, 2007 at 8:25 a.m.
On This Day in 1850, the United States Navy abolishes the practice of flogging. Among the crimes for which this was the penalty are: stealing poultry from the coop (12 lashes), being lousy (6), stealing a wig (12), and being naked on the spar deck (9). This reform is perhaps the signature moment in Millard Filmore's presidency.
I suppose, though, that friggin� in the riggin� was still okay. Really though, being naked on the spar deck? Was it okay to be naked on the poop deck, or even the lido deck? That may have made Love Boat more watchable. Or not � Fred Gandy nude . . . ewwwww!!
Any way, I know I haven�t been writing much of late, mostly because I�ve been feeling like a one-trick pony. I�ve been antsy about the surgery and gearing up for it � prepping the house, etc. Lots of tests and running around to different doctor�s offices. Bleah.
The other night, though, we went to see BeatleMania! over at one of the local casinos (oddly enough, we never go to casinos, but for various reasons, we�ve been to three this past month) and the show was pretty fun. The guy playing John was channeling him pretty well, but the guy playing Paul has the most horrible wig! However, the guy playing George not only looked like George (albeit a 1990�s George) but he sure whaled on that guitar like George used to. It was great though, and we got to scream and shout (or is that twist and shout?)
I saw a great bad movie yesterday, Devil Times Five. This movie had Sorrel Booke (Boss Hogg!) and the woman who played Rosario on Will and Grace, and boy did she make a funny drunk! The movie also had the 11-year-old Leif Garrett, which was of course the main reason for my even watching this movie! Five children escape from a mental institution and wreak havoc on a mountain cabinful of unsuspecting adults. And boy were those kids ever evil! The best part, though, is little Leif screaming �My beautiful face! Look what you�ve done to my beautiful face!� Yeah, that and him dressing up in women�s clothes. He puts on that lipstick like a pro, that kid does. Oh yeah, evil children equals great movie madness in my book!
I also saw a total piece of kek called The Reincarnation of Isobel, a 1970�s Italian flick (that should have been my first clue) starring none other than Mickey Hargitay (and that should have been my second clue). 500 years ago, Isobel was stabbed through the heart and burned at the stake for allegedly being a witch. All the men who loved her at the time have since spent the past 500 years attempting to reincarnate her. However, now that a whole bunch of lithe women are suddenly staying at the castle, now they can maybe finish the reincarnation. But maybe they don�t actually have to, now that a young woman named Laureen (who looks just like Isobel) is also staying at the castle. So they kind of, sort of, not really, but do, maybe reincarnate Isobel. Or not. All the changing-color-disco-lights made it hard to tell after a while.
Next on the list: Hot Rod Girl and KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park. Can you believe I�ve never seen that?? I can hardly wait, for it sounds so delightfully bad. Certainly, however, a lot better than my necromantic picture of the mice from the other day. I completely disgusted the hell out of all of you with that one, eh? Yeah, you thought that was in poor taste, eh? Well, how about this classic advertisement:
