Dodge! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
Monday, Aug. 07, 2006 at 9:19 a.m.
On this day in 1953, Eisenhower signed legislation retroactively granting Ohio official statehood for the previous 150 years. In 1803, apparently everyone just assumed that Ohio was a state, even though Congress had never passed legislation to that effect. The nation remained blissfully unaware of this fact until nosy historians began snooping around in preparation for Ohio's sesquicentennial.
This just makes me laugh. It couldn�t have happened to a better state.
At least Ohio isn�t Iowa, which stands for I Oughta Went Around.
Of course, I say this, and I�m from the panhandle of Florida, which we all know is also called �L.A.�, meaning �Lower Alabama�, and Florida seems to have a really high fucktard ratio per capita.
And then I went to school in Alabama (Roll Tide! Roll!) which of course, also has a high rate of fucktards, as well as asshats.
Basically, no matter where you go, you can find people that suck.
The problem is that most of them won�t swallow.
Whoo! I think I was bit by the snarky bird over the weekend. And of course, being snarky is infinitely better than being in utter ennui like I was on Friday . . . Hubster was nice to me, and he was feeling kind of the same way. So I made some dinner and he took me out to play miniature golf, which is always kind of a hoot for us, as he likes to do bank shots and be all geometric and I�m all about sheer force. We ended up with a tie after my leading by 6 strokes on the first 12 holes. We also went to lunch on Sunday to one of our favorite haunts and played pool, and our dynamic for playing pool is much like our miniature golf � except that I tend to be too gentle on the cue and the ball doesn�t go quite as far as I intended, or just doesn�t have enough spin.
Anyway. It also turns out that I�m alone here at work again, as D took the day off, A has to fly to Ohio (by sheer coincidence, that�s where she�s from) for a funeral, and J is simply AWOL, much like C used to do before she finally was fired by D. Which is an anomaly in itself, as D simply does not fire people, she simply stops scheduling them until they go away. Nice to be passive-aggressive, there, boss. But the situation with C got so out of control that D had finally had enough. Afterwards, D comes over to me and says, �Well, you and A finally got what you wanted.� Sigh. I told her that it wasn�t a matter of what I wanted, it was a matter of necessary tranquility in the workplace. Cheezum, Miss Manager, go take one of those Fred Pryor Seminars. Please. I don�t get paid enough to tell you how to be a better manager.
I scared Hubster because I actually watched a movie of substance this weekend, The Basketball Diaries. This is, of course, based on the life of Jim Carroll, an up-and-coming high school basketball star who plunges with both feet right into the world of drugs and decadence. With Leo DiCaprio in the lead role, which I found to be a very good role for him . . . sometimes I have a hard time with that baby-face doing roles like this, and that�s probably why he does so well in them. Also has the lovely MarkyMark as one of his buddies and looking way too old to be in high school. Anyway, it�s very good and deserving of all the accolades it has gotten.
Moving over to another of Leo�s movies, did anyone else think that Jack really pussied out when he couldn�t hold on to the headboard anymore in Titanic? He single-handedly did an extremely daring rescue, even taking elemental physics and wave theory into consideration but he can�t hang on to a piece of wood. Sigh. But then, the ending wouldn�t be so tragic.
I still love him in Romeo+Juliet, though. That movie never got the attention it deserved.
On a lighter note, the Hubster and I are still watching the anime� series Angel Links featuring the lovely Meifon and her bodacious tatas. The series continues to get weird, and so we�re asking all these questions: Is Leon a good guy or a bad guy? Is Meifon dead or alive? Is she human or an android? Is she real or is she Memorex�? And just how does she reenter planetary gravity without her tatas exploding (as they must be filled with helium to be so under her chin like that)?
And what the hell flavored Doritos� are these??
Gah! Crushed nutsack flavor? Is this some kind of weird competitive sport in Japan?
And where the hell does this company manufacture that this is their warning label??
Where the hell are you going to run into sharks and bears at the same time? And are the under-five-year-olds even more dangerous than I ever realized?
And where the hell would someone even think of placing this sign??
Really, it�s no wonder I watch all the bad movies I do. If this is reality, kiddos, I�m sticking to schlocky cinema. TA!