Jollies gone Jibbly
Thursday, Apr. 27, 2006 at 7:56 a.m.
Well, I managed to get the walls textured last night. Fortunately, it was only 1 � walls and for the most part, they will be covered up with large bits of furniture.
Large bits? Isn�t that like hamburger steak, jumbo shrimp, or military intelligence?
Speaking of hamburger steak, Hubster grilled up some good hamburgers last night. Nice and pink, they were, in the middle. Soft, the buns, they were, and melty was the cheese. Like Yoda shall I stop speaking like now and dangling participles all pick up? Okay.
So Hubster is under the impression I will get the room done on Saturday. Nice thinking, perhaps, but it�s still all dependent on how good I feel, and today, I�m feeling like a little kid�s been tap dancing on my stomach while another kid with brass knuckles has been punching me in the ass. There�s some nice imagery for you! Of course, Hubster is being impatient and he�s talking about ripping out the carpet before I�m done painting, and I�m trying to convince him that I want the carpet down to act as a drop cloth as well as being so much more comfortable. The carpet may not be the best in the world, but that padding underneath is so nice. So, Hubster, keep yer damn pecker in yer pants. At least on this issue.
Speaking of peckers in pants:
AUUUGGGGHHH! I mean, really, I don�t even have the dangly bits and I�m completely puckered up on this one. Yes, that may be the point, but no thank you. Although, really, injury to dangly bits is the tip of the iceberg of problems that can occur if that bike crashes. I can imagine all those guys going down like dominos . . . huh huh . . . I said going down . . . all with pelvic fractures and compressed spines and their jollies crammed up into their spleens. Ouch.
And speaking of jollies and spleens:
Oh, those Aussies and their genitalia. Have you ever seen Puppetry of the Penis?? The �ancient art of genital origami�, they call themselves. I got to see their show in Phoenix, and you immediately get beyond two fully naked men and get totally intrigued with what the hell they�re doing to themselves. One guy I worked with went to the show as well and he actually bought the book so he could practice moves on himself. And he proceeded to show us his latest tricks from time to time. The beginner�s move: �The Hamburger�.
Wow, we came full circle to hamburger steak again. How often does that happen?
Actually, how often does this happen?
You can�t say, �get a room� because, well, they did.
Can we assume that he did as well?
Well, if he didn�t, maybe he should have shopped here:
If I find the Pimp Convenience Store, I�ll let y�all know.