No more leavened bread!
Thursday, Apr. 13, 2006 at 11:52 a.m.
Anyhoo, it�s Thursday which doesn�t mean too much in the scheme of things other than it�s Maundy Thursday, and there�s a Mass I could go to tonight. It�s part of the Holy Week Triduum and the gospel goes something like this: Jesus and his posse are walking through town and the apostles are arguing over who�s the best apostle. Jesus loses his temper and starts saying, dudes, it�s not about who the best apostle is. Don�t you get it? It�s obvious that they don�t, because the argument continues through town and to the place where they�re going to eat. When they all get there, Jesus has had enough of this crap so he starts to wash everyone�s feet, which are all filthy from the journey. Normally a servant would do this. The apostles get all riled up and say, Master, don�t do that, that�s a servant�s job, and Jesus is all, guys, look, this is what you�re supposed to be doing. You have to serve others and take care of others. This is what it�s about. Get it? Well, really, they don�t, and you know the rest of the story.
Part of the Maundy Thursday is a symbolic washing of other�s feet. At our parish, we actually pour water over each other�s feet in remembrance of Jesus. Yeah, I know, it�s kind of weird. I understand that Baptists do some sort of footwashing thing too but I don�t know what that�s all about.
This is always an interesting time of year because all the C & Es come out of the woodwork and come to Mass (Christmas & Easters, get it?) so you can always count on little kids freaking out during the Passion on Palm Sunday, what with all the descriptions of Jesus being scourged and dying on the cross (�is that man dying? I don�t want him to die! Mommy!!!!), or little kids puking during Easter Mass because they went through their entire Easter basket before church, and little kids falling dead asleep during Midnight Mass. Actually, I see adults fall asleep during that Mass too. And then there�s the fainters during Ash Wednesday Mass. Meanwhile, the rest of us weekly goers sigh a bit and clean up the mess.
Here�s a message to all people who don�t attend a church regularly and only go for a special occasion: Make sure you have a couple of bucks in your pocket because at some time during the service someone is bound to walk through with a basket for you to put it in. Think of it as rent for the chair on which your hiney is parked. Because if you just pass the basket over to the next person, the basket person will think less of you. Furthermore, if you sit there and write a check, the basket person will also hover over you until you get the damn check written. Unless you then give it to your child to put in the basket. Then the basket person will think that�s so darn cute. Unless, of course, the child takes money out of the basket in exchange. Then the sirens go off and the spotlights come on like a prison yard.
No that�s not true at all. Not the prison yard part, anyway. But it�s nice to be prepared to give a little something, anyway.
Of course, if you�re completely against the whole church thing during the holidays, here�s an alternative:
Think they�ll serve Bloody Marys or something? Flaming Blue Fuzzy Fuckers? Or just good old fashioned shots?