Some slight religious diatribe
Friday, Dec. 09, 2005 at 9:24 a.m.
On this day in history, December 9th, 1999, President Bill �Is� Clinton signs legislation outlawing �crush videos�, which generally involve women stomping frogs, mice, or other small animals with high heels.
That�s a fairly specialized fetish, isn�t it? You do have the dominatrix/stiletto heel thing going on, but to go as far as to impale and smoosh little animals? That�s falling into the crevice of sicko. The thing is with foot fetishists, though, is that you really can�t win. Guys really dig the high heels and the toe cleavage, so you try to dissuade him by wearing sneakers. That does work for a while, but then the sneakers get smelly, then you have a whole new problem.
Holy Crap. This really happens?
Remember Twin Peaks and how Lucy would have all those doughnuts laid out like a buffet, with endless pots of joe? And how amazed Dale Cooper would be everytime he encountered those doughnuts?
Mmmmm. Doughnuts.
Speaking of doughnuts, I think God dropped his muffin.
It looks like God likes raisin muffins with some icing on top. Or maybe those are chocolate chips, proving once and for all that God is a woman.
I know a lot of people like to argue this point, as well as the whole Da Vinci Code, etc, and can you believe that the Catholic church has even published pamplets about �The Truth about the Da Vinci Code�, bla bla bla . . . My personal arrogant opinion on the whole thing is: We really don�t know what happened. Our whole religion (note I said religion, not faith) is based out of a bunch of stuff written hundreds of years after the fact, and only the written stuff that jibed with the guy in charge at the time�s personal arrogant opinion. We don�t know if Jesus had a brother or what Mary Magdelene was all about, but anything�s truly a possibility, so don�t cut any other possibility as heresy because we JUST DON�T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.
I personally think Jesus had a dog and he kicked ass at whatever version of stickball they had when he was a kid. (�Whoa, Jesus, you totally hit that into old lady Esther�s goat pen, dude!�
Speaking of dogs, dig this sign:
The problem is, that I�ll bet what that sign actually says is: �Don�t be sad when ye run out of poop to roll around in, for tomorrow ye shall poop again.�