A very scatalogical entry - not for the faint of heart There are some general truths in life, that is, universal shared thoughts/acts/experiences/whatever that we have all had experience with, but rarely speak of outside of a Def Comedy Jam because of their scatological, gross, or otherwise offensive nature. That is, these things are offensive in that it�s not something you generally bring Aunt Edna into the conversation with, yet you know enough to understand the humor when someone else has the guts to say it. �That one was touching cloth!� �That�s gonna be a two-flusher.� �I hope that one was empty.� Things we all do (and if you don�t, you�re lying): Looking in the hanky after sneezing or blowing your nose. Looking in the toilet after using it. Checking the toilet after flushing it, in the occurrence of a two-flusher. Lingering a moment to smell your fart. Picking your nose in the car. Picking your nose anywhere. Popping a zit. Feeling extraordinarily satisfied after a really good poo. And, since we all go �EWWWW� when someone mentions the taste of earwax, that should mean we�ve all tasted it. You have, haven�t you? LIAR. Anyhoo. The good doc actually cut back my steroid doseage, as my x-rays are showing that the inflammation has become negligible and my ACE levels are still down. He tells me that I need to accentuate the positive. I found it really hard to not say �Fuck you!� He also says that the reason my scar looks so extraordinarily red is that my skin is extraordinarily white. Again, hard not to say �Fuck you!� Thankfully, though, my weight has not completely ballooned and I�m still going to the gym, although I will wheeze while doing cardio and people stare at me due to my wheezing. Here the good doc told me to tell them �Fuck you!� No he didn�t. He did say �Tell them you have sarcoidosis, what�s THEIR problem?� I JUST GASHED THE HELL OUT OF MY LEG ON THE OPEN CD DRAWER ON THE COMPUTER UNDER MY DESK. Cripes, there�s blood dripping down my leg. That drawer corner must be really sharp. And the only reason it was open was because I got bored watching What the Bleep Do We Know? and I didn�t feel like watching the whole thing. Did I just get hit by the Karma Bus? Or at least the Please Stop Being Scatalogical Bus? Why is the computer under my desk? One word. Footrest. Thank goodness for ZEE Pharmaceutical and their excellent first-aid boxes. And for working in a place that actually has one. It�s good to know that alcohol swabs, ointment packets, large gauze pads and stretchy tape are available to the yahoos who gash their legs open on a CD drawer. This might be worth sympathy from the Hubby. Or yet another rolling-of-the-eyes-how-did-I-get-such-a-klutz-for-a-wife look. I walk regularly into door jambs and repeatedly kick the bed post with my little toe, which has been broken so many times it sort of bends sideways. I manage to hit my OWN ankle with the shopping cart, how dumb is that? Heh heh. We used to have a saying at the Theatre: Actors will trip over a tape line on the floor. A dancer will trip over a chalk line that�s been erased. I was a dancer for 15 years. That�s how the hubby got a klutz for a wife. My bowling average is now 87, an improvement of 11 pins. My high game is 161 (yow!) and last week I bowled a 140, an 86, and a 111. (yow again!) My teammates kept asking me what I had done with Bonnie, and I kept saying I don�t know, but I�m gonna keep on bowling.
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