Ode to a Cowboy
Monday, Dec. 18, 2006 at 12:38 p.m.
On this day in 1843, according to our usually sketchy sources, Keith Richards, guitarist for the Rolling Stones and arguably the oldest man on earth, is born today.
Well, don�t he look good for 163?
Okay, perhaps he needs to have all his blood replaced again. Twice more should do it.
Well, fuck, I say again, fuck because I got rear-ended again on Friday afternoon as I was just trying to go home � doesn�t it always happen that way? � and I was doing my best to not rear-end someone in front of me in the Valley�s typical slow-and-go traffic, when I looked up into my rear-view mirror and thought to myself, �Oh dear, I don�t think that truck behind me is going to stop in time.�
***crunch***
Trixie! TRIXIE! God, NO! Not Trixie!
My poor darling Trixie now has a hole punched into her rear bumper by the (snark)very lovely(/snark) oversized Ford f-250 delivery truck that had shackles welded to its bumper by which to pull things and to punch holes into the rear bumpers of cute little cars that contain drivers that know how to stop in time in slow-and-go traffic!
MotherFucker!
We were only going 10 MPH so it wasn�t too bad, but now I�m in the utter hell of insurance claims and having to put up with adjustors trying to figure out if I wasn�t somehow at fault for getting myself rear-ended. And my neck hurts. But my schedule turned into a bitch, and god knows that PABB of late (see previous entry for explanation of this acronym) will not let me have the time off, because she has to burn her own time off.
Yeah, it makes sense on HER planet, apparently.
In better news, last night Hubster and I went to his company holiday party at the great and wonderful Rawhide, a wild-west theme park, where the steaks are thick and the gunfights are cheesy. All of the employees were given a nice rolling cooler and a soft blankie with the company logo, and the spouses were given soft teddy bears that had Cheesecake Factory� gift cards around their necks! Squee! And yes, we had some fine steak, and we managed to score some BBQ ribs as well, and had some very good apple pie with cinnamon swirl ice cream. It�s a fun place to go, and they always have it nicely decorated for the holidays. It�s a fun place to take tourists.
Back when I first started working with Rawhide for various events, there was a gentleman who worked there who called himself Cowboy Dan. Now, you have to imagine Cowboy Dan, as he was a rather short gentleman from Istanbul. He�d been in this country for 20 some-odd years, but he still had an accent. He also wore a ten-gallon hat with �Cowboy Dan� on it and full western regalia complete with boots, spurs, and holsters. And he called himself Cowboy Dan, and he had a thick Turkish accent, and he would say to me, �Valkyrie, we are going to have a lovely party, and it will be wonderful, you are beautiful, Valkyrie, my lovely little friend, you are beautiful and you will have a beautiful party, God Bless America.�
When Hubster and I were first dating, his company at the time had a summer picnic at Rawhide, and I introduced Hubster to Cowboy Dan, and he said, �You are a very fine man, but Valkyrie is my beautiful lovely little friend, and you must take care of my lovely little friend for she is beautiful, and I will dance at your wedding, God Bless America.�
One of the last times I talked to personnel at Rawhide, Cowboy Dan no longer worked there, and it seemed that he had left due to illness. I don�t know where he is now, but I always smile when I think of him, because he�s such a lovely little man.
God Bless America, and God Bless Cowboy Dan, wherever he is.