th13: Snippets of Dialogue, and Falling for Fall
Thursday, Sept. 21, 2006 at 8:21 a.m.
�Let me tell you something about your daughter, Fred. She�s got a tongue like an electric eel.�
�Believe me, there is nothing more I�d like to do right now than rip that red gown off your body, throw you on that bed, and molest you seven ways to Sunday. However, and I don�t care if you don�t believe me now, I am too goddamned tired. I�d be asleep before you ever got my pants off. Now, is that fair? To either of us?�
�I don�t know how to explain the fascination of women-on-women. It�s just . . . it�s like the experience of eating really high-end cheesecake. You want to wolf it down as quickly as possible, but you force yourself to savor every morsel, because you know you won�t get it again soon.�
�That�s when I knew that the whole scene had gone beyond FUBAR to FUBAPHORAMEM. That�s Fucked Up Beyond Any Possible Hope Of Regcognition And Maybe Even More. That�s when it was time to leave.�
�I think our relationship is only going to work long-distance. Really long-distance. Like inter-continental long-distance.�
�Bob, if I ever fully understand the need for women to have fourteen pairs of black shoes, I�d appreciate it if you�d shoot me in the head.�
�Tom, really. Don�t breed. Get a vasectomy. Get two, for chrissakes.�
�That son-of-a-bitch! He said he�d written his own wedding vows, but he stole them from a Dan Folgelberg song!�
�Son, there are three times that you must look a person in the eye as you tell them something. One, when you say you�re sorry. Two, when you tell a woman you love her. Three, when you make a promise to someone else.�
�I would tell you to take your thumb out of your ass, but it looks like it�s doing you some good.�
�What do you mean, �make an honest woman out of her�? I haven�t done anything to her to necessitate making her honest.�
�Well, unless you either need me to juggle or knit, there�s not much I can do to help you. Good luck, though.�
�When I accepted this job, I didn�t realize that killing other people was part of my duties. I�m not complaining about that, though. But could I at least have a semi-automatic?�
On this day in 1983, Ronald Reagan's Secretary of the Interior, James Watt, describes his staff's racial diversity to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: "We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple. And we have talent." Watt is forced to resign 18 days later over these comments.
I remember when that happened. I may have been a young, tender, teenager, but I recall that I thought that someone was going to get his ass handed to him on a platter in the near future.
Greetings from the cubicle Valkyrie! Currently, my feng shui is in a total state of higgledy-piggeldy because my cube is crammed full of swag for the �Customer Service Week� brouha to take place the first week of October. I work for a company with satellite offices, and the powers-that-be deem it necessary to ship all the swag here in a big bundle to be tallied, separated, re-boxed, and shipped back out to the appropriate offices. Namely, the powers-that-be make me do it.
One thing I will say about my boss, she�s the utter queen of delegation. The problem is, no one knows what the hell she actually does herself.
I don�t know about the Hubster�s state of feng shui but I do know his chakras are totally screwed right now. He has another cold! What�s up with that, I wonder? Is he trying to make the playing field even by being ill to balance out my menopausal sarcoid mess that I am? How dare he! I�m the household sicky diva!
Poor guy. It sounds like he�s trying to breathe peanut butter. At least it�s currently sounding like the smooth kind instead of chunky. Anyway, I hope he gets better soon. We�re supposed to go on holiday next week, driving all over Arizona. The original plan was to make me camp out on a godforsaken rock somewhere, but currently up north, the overnight temps are around 30*F. Yah, I�m sure he�s a wimp to all you real happy campers. I�m okay about that, though, as my idea of roughing it is a motel that doesn�t have continental breakfast.
I�m still not even sure where we�re going. I do know that now that it�s more or less fall (and in Arizona, we do actually get some semblance of seasons, if you leave the damn Phoenix area) so now that the temperatures have dropped back under 100*F we won�t be seening this in every body of water:
Now we have room to twist by the pool, yo. And it�s cool enough here to sit outside and drink some nice wine:
And you�ll see the rodents kicking back and enjoying themselves:
And the cats will be picking up their Taekwando again:
And dogs will start their flying lessons:
I love autumn.