It all goes back to the wedgies
Monday, Jul. 31, 2006 at 9:35 a.m.
Lately it�s been raining in Arizona, and that�s a good thing. Yes, it will rain on occasion in a desert; in fact, we�re supposed to get something like 7 inches of rain a year but the rainfall has been rather short of that in the past few years. There is also the dreaded �heat island� effect in Phoenix, wherein a raincloud will move gamely to the big city and bounce off the extreme heat bunkers that our great asphalt jungle of sprawl has created. Seriously, people, stop moving here. We don�t have any more water. And it doesn�t rain like it should, it doesn�t snow in the north country like it should, and really, it�s too damn hot. It gets to be 118* F here and we don�t even blink anymore. And it�s not a dry heat right now, due to the fact it is our �monsoon� season. The other night, we had 90-mile-an-hour winds at the airport, there were several thousand lightning strikes, and the sky opened and dumped close to an inch of rain on my house.
Thank God we�re not in a flood plain.
The truth is, the Hubster is savvy enough to know where the flood plains are and he�s smarter than your average unscrupulous home developer. And while it may be picturesque to build your $3M dream house in a dry river bed, there�s a reason that river bed exists.
When it does rain, your house is going to float away, you idiots. And quit your bitchin�, I have to go kill a scorpion before my dumb cat gets stung by it.
I lie. I�m not getting anywhere near a scorpion, because the damn things will chew my leg off. However, I�m not kidding about the houses being built in dry river beds. Morons.
Anyhoo, the relative humidity here is running about 46% or so, which I know is nothing in comparison to the humidity near the homes of some of my other readers, but you have to understand that we�re used to the humidity being less than 10%. Sweating is weird to us. We�re supposed to dry up and roll away with the tumbleweeds, thank you very much. I grew up on the Gulf Coast of Florida, and even the 46% humidity is an improvement from the days when it seemed that the towels would never dry after you use them once after a shower. So there.
But talk about some relative humidity:
Yikes. Thank heaven for hip waders. Not that hip waders are going to help this guy:
Geez, don�t men do stupid things? And they wonder why women live longer. The damage must begin in childhood:
Really, though, we all keep harping about equality between the sexes and it really is never going to happen, mostly because we just won�t let it:
Seriously. I try to be a feminist on the proper things, but that�s a small price to pay for a free drink. Especially for a top shelf one. Cherchez la Femme? Pfffft.