Horror Movies, the Jaded Masses, and a Couple of Dicks Thrown In
Friday, Jun. 30, 2006 at 10:48 a.m.
Yikes. For some reason, I managed to get in a Wes Craven festival from Blockbuster, The Hills Have Eyes and The Last House on the Left. Both pictures are touted as films that broke the current standards and mores of filmmaking and caused great distress to audiences everywhere, complete with vomiting and fainting. I suppose we are now so jaded that these films, even though the subject matter is still disturbing, they hardly rate a �meh� as far as visuals go.
Of course, thank goodness that we are still disturbed by the acts of cannibalism, rape, torture, and wholesale violence. But the actual pictures of such things, at least in a fictional format, do little to move me. Yes, The Exorcist creeped me out, in particular the �masturbation� with a crucifix scene, but I had done enough research prior to seeing the film to know how that scene was created. And I suppose that research �ruins� it in a way, but I find the filmmaking process fascinating from a technical standpoint. I was a theatre major on both sides of the curtain, a performer-turned-technician. So I sit there thinking, �Hey, good job on digitizing out the wires� or �That stage blood needed a bit of blue in it� or �Dang, this scene must have been really difficult for that actor, but what a good job.� Do these thoughts take away from my enjoyment? No, it only enhances it for me. But anyhoo:
Things I learned from watching The Hills Have Eyes:
- Even if a dog takes out your Achilles tendon, you will still be able to walk.
- It�s really bizarre to not have a denouement in a movie. This one ended right at the climax of the film. Odd. Very jolting.
- You can apparently charm a woman into becoming a cannibal with you.
- You can have no formal education but still be able to speak in perfect English.
Things I learned from watching The Last House on the Left:
- If you�re in the woods, you will not be able to hear screaming or a gunshot, even if it�s only about 250 feet away.
- �Columbian� is apparently a killer kind of marijuana. Not cocaine. And it�s only $20 for an ounce.
- Small-town sheriffs have always been and always will be idiots, and small-town deputies will always be reincarnations of Barney Fife.
- Happy folk music always belongs in a horror film.
- A dismembered hand is still able to wiggle its fingers.
Although not related to these movies directly, I have learned that �Dick� jokes are always, always funny:
Good for Lisa! You go, girl!