Vanilla Pudding or Hydrofluoric Acid? Choose Wisely.
Monday, Jun. 19, 2006 at 10:02 a.m.
Geez, I�m disappointed. And here I thought I would be deluged with Goodnight Moon couplets, and only awittykitty responded with what I thought was actually a rather fun set of couplets:
Goodnight Mom
Goodnight Dad
I fileted you both
I am so bad!
I simply lurve the whole Lizzie Borden thing this has going for it. It makes me want to listen to Mitch Miller and sing the lyrics: No, you can�t chop your father up in Massachusetts. . . So awittykitty wins the pair of Foofies, handknitted with love while I watch bad bad bad movies. And oh my, what a couple of doozies I watched late last week:
Eraserhead: (disclaimer: What will follow is MY PERSONAL ARROGANT OPINION regarding this, or in fact, any movie I write about. Just a reminder ) I had honestly never seen this before. Of course, this film is in the annals of all-time-movies-that-must-be-deeply-studied-by-all-aspiring-film-students, although my question would be Dear God, WHY? I am all for student filmmaking. I am all for being an auteur and getting your grand creation realized onto film, regardless of subject matter. My problem is that I believe that art goes two ways. Yes, as an artist, you can be as subjective as you want, but 50% of the point of art is that it will be reactive, and that, my friends, is why you put art out there as opposed to being hidden in a room somewhere. To express art that is weird for weirdness� sake is self-indulgent and pretentious, especially when the artist (i.e. David Lynch) says: �In all the interpretations of this movie by reviewers, none has ever been my interpretation.� What that says to me is that you didn�t communicate your message. Now, I do like David Lynch. I loved Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive and I thought Dune was one hell of a great attempt to even film that thing. I think metaphor in film is fantastic. But we as an audience need to have some inkling, no matter how minute, of your metaphor. My time on this film was trying to figure out how the monster baby puppet was articulated. I didn�t even notice the drawer filled with vanilla pudding and frozen peas.
Conversation with Hubster:
Hubster: �What the hell are you watching?
Valkyrie: �Eraserhead. It�s a film by David Lynch.�
Hubster: �You mean the guy that directed Dune? Oh my god, what is that thing? Is it supposed to be a bird?�
Valkyrie: �It�s supposed to be a baby.�
Hubster: �Eww.�
Valkyrie: �You know, David Lynch was originally slated to direct Return of the Jedi.�
Hubster: �Well, that would have certainly made that film different. No Ewoks, that�s for sure.�
Valkyrie: �And instead of a final battle with the Emperor, Luke, Vader and Palpatine would have been in a room with a black and white checkerboard floor while a midget danced around.�
Furthermore, you know all those kids you see running around with Eraserhead t-shirts? I doubt they�ve ever seen the movie. Anyway. On the other end of the spectrum:
Satan�s Sadists: A biker movie! From 1969! With Russ Tamblyn as the leader of said sadistic biker group, Russ of West Side Story, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and Twin Peaks fame! As well as having assisted in spawning Amber Tamblyn! This movie was also co-written and starred Greydon Clark, who MST3K fans will remember as the director of Angel�s Revenge and Final Justice, the one starring the bilious Joe Don Baker! Al Adamson
co-wrote and produced and directed this flick in order to begin his own film distribution company with a buddy named Sam Sherman. These guys are also responsible for bringing you Psycho a-Go-Go and Dracula vs. Frankenstein! Great movie. Al Adamson�s metaphor: �Let�s make movies that people will be entertained by.� Yeah, it�s nothing artistic or deep or meaningful. In fact, it�s just full of unneccessary violence, nudity, and a lot of use of the word �groovy�. But it�s also not pretentious And after all: �An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure.� Hubster�s review: �Wow, look at that hat and glasses. Can this movie be any more �60�s? Whoa! Naked boobies!�
Naked boobies, of course, being the Hubster�s metaphor. Or idiom. Whichever.
But if you are one of Satan�s Sadists, make sure you take note of highway number changes:
Just to be sure you�re on the right Highway to Hell.