I Thought All You Need is CASH
Wednesday, Jun. 14, 2006 at 12:05 p.m.
So the Hubster and I went down to Tucson yesterday to celebrate his grandmother�s 100th birthday.
Happy Birthday, Grandma-in-law! How�s it hanging?
Bless her heart, because she�s 100 years old and she�s honestly not going to be with us much longer. I look at her and I think to myself, �Why is she being given all sorts of pain meds and appetite enhancers, when the pain meds only make her loogy and she really doesn�t want to eat?� She has regressed to talking about (when she�s coherent enough to be understood) about her youth in Bowie, and we think she asked her son Bob, my FIL, out to a dance. She thinks there is a man living under her mattress and poking her, so she keeps trying to look under her blanket. I think, though, that this an improvement over when she thought the staff were feeding her baby birds. We did bring her 100 carnations and a large cake to share with the rest of the home residents, but when we sang �Happy Birthday�, she looked completely confused when we sang, �Dear Grandma�.
Just a couple of months ago she was regaling us with her tales of how she was a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse in Green River, and she had to kill a rattlesnake in the outhouse. Of course, she started in the middle of the story, told the beginning and the end a couple times and then got the whole story again in order about 30 minutes later. She�s on the slippery slope. sigh
In other news. . . well, there isn�t any. Except that I managed to shed most of the toxic cloak I�ve been wrapping myself in (and no, I am not talking about having a problem with flatulence. That problem has been solving itself since I lay off the soda. Anyhoo.) and I�m feeling a lot more chipper. I don�t know if my current creative writing project has helped, but I�m enjoying myself. But now is the time for snark.
For some reason, when I see this sign, I think about the song �Love the One You�re With�:
But will all that lube help you in this neck of the woods?
And now, this lovely family will sing the Deliverance Squeal Anthem:
And now on the All You Need is Lube show, we�re pleased to introduce you to the boom operator:
And now a word from our sponsor:
Yikes!