Bodily functions and Surgical desciptions �. . . and they came from towns with strange names, like Smegma, Spasmodic, Frog, and the far-flung Isles of Langerhans.� This popped into my head today while driving to work. It�s a line from the Firesign Theatre, I think from the �American Pageant�. At the time, I was thinking about the Necrophiliac Flea and how perhaps a Phlegmatic Rhinoceros might be a good bookend to that. Basically, take an odd adjective and put it in front of a noun. Just now I thought, Bilious Almond. My doctor tells me that perhaps Prozac is not the right drug for me anymore, and perhaps I should consider mood stabilizers. But for now we�re going to up the Prozac dosage and see how that works for a couple of weeks. This makes sense to me as I�m not in tearful, unmitigated depression. I�m really quite happy but I tend to be more manic with REALLY HIGH HIGHS and really low lows. The depression has lessened greatly with (a) the introduction of the hubby bubby to my life, and (b) the removal of the Pit of Despair that I used to work for. I have not had a tearful wobbly for a really long time. In fact, the last tearful wobblies I�ve had were related to my biopsy surgery, and that one was due to my being in an emergency room 2 days after my surgery but I wasn�t going to be seeing ANYBODY for HOURS AND HOURS, this despite that I just had surgery, and I was in fact pooping nothing but BLOOD. But apparently that doesn�t rank very high at all on the list of emergencies. Gary and I left after waiting for nearly five hours, which, I know, isn�t that long in the world of emergency rooms, but it seems like an awful long time to me, the blood pooper. It turns out that most likely I was having side effects from all the hospital narcotics, which tend to REALLY bind you up, and then you get internal hemorrhoids, which then cause bleeding. Sure, but tell that to a woman who�s feeling a little fragile and who knows that in a good and normal world, poop ain�t that color. Well, enough of that poop. My SIL is scheduled for surgery this week for her fallen frontal lobe. She�s very happy with the neurologist and with the facility, and they�ve been falling over themselves to take care of her. The fact that this is a teaching facility is pretty cool but I did warn her that she�ll be stared at by a whole bunch o residents because, well, what�s happening to her is pretty darn freakish (read: ultra frickin COOL in the medical resident world). My bubba is a bit freaked out because he�s talking in that kind of LOUD voice that my family uses when we�re freaking out but want to look and sound really really calm. Doesn�t work, huh? Krista�s going to have the front half of her head shaved, so with her red curly hair, she�ll look like those portraits of Queen Elizabeth I (it was fashionable to PLUCK the hairline to have that real HIGH forehead look. Ouch!!). Then the surgeon will make an incision along the top of her head from ear to ear and peel down her face to rebuild her right sinus and patch her occipital bone. Then she�ll have to have catheters inserted into her skull to monitor cranial pressure since the brain pulsates every time your heart beats. She�ll be in ICU for a few days following and then in a regular room for a while following. Wow. I think I�ve been sufficiently weird and gross for the day. Bon appetit!
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