Cold cream might take care of that Last night was a bit perilous. My husband had to go to Boise for his Uncle Allan�s funeral. Uncle Allan passed last week after a long and painful bout of cancer. I got to meet him once at the in-laws� 50th anniversary party, and I rather liked him. Uncle Allan worked for the BLM for a very long time and spent much time cavorting about the woods, presumably up trees. The in-laws came up from Tucson for the flight and brought their dog, Dingo, with them. We�ve dogsat Dingo on many occasions, and Dingo has let it be known that I am a poor substitute for both MIL and for Gary. So yesterday was the first time that I was solo with this animal, and he spent the whole of last night HOWLING for MIL or Gary or ANYBODY that wasn�t me. I tried to comfort him, give him treats (which he wouldn�t accept), or at the very least give him a pat but he shied away from me. Eventually I gave up, turned the fan on high, buried my head under pillow, and tried to sleep. Today I am crankier than usual, and since Dingo is much more accustomed to people being at home all day, he will surely announce his displeasure by leaving stinky presents all over the house for me. Gypsy will follow suit because she�s so dopey that she�ll think this is some kind of new game. I can�t simply leave them outside because it�s 113* today and that�s just mean, and besides, Dingo barks likes there�s no tomorrow when left outside all day. Oh well, everyone will be home tomorrow evening. And then it�s bowling night. I watched a movie called VULGAR last night. It�s a film that was produced by View Askew, namely Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier, of CLERKS and MALLRATS infamy, and stars Brian O�Halloran, AKA Dante Hicks. I�m not sure what I was expecting, I guess something like a cross between SHAKES THE CLOWN and CLERKS, as the main character is a kid�s party clown, but with paths down dark and very sad roads. I guess you could call it a revengist�s drama, with overtones of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (the main character is brutally raped in this one as well). The story is actually told rather well and O�Halloran is actually a very good actor in this. He does have limited appeal to me simply because the characters I�ve seen him do are the whiny clerks-type, everytime. Here he does a bit of the same, but his rage at his experience is chilling. I�m glad to say it does have a happy ending, or at least an ending that we can live with. Will (O�Halloran�s character) does eventually find resolve, and he doesn�t have to kill anybody to find it, although that does become his intention. He is cheated, I suppose, out of his revenge because he didn�t HAVE to kill anybody, yet his attackers end up dead anyway (some really good prothestics there). One funny aside in this movie is the use of real people�s names for various characters � Scott Mosier is the name of the landlord, a character on the phone is called Mrs. Affleck, a �Walt Flannigan�s dog� is mentioned, and others. Kevin Smith gives a nice little performance as a TV producer called Martan, pronounced Mar-tan. Jay Mewes also makes an appearance as Tuott, what else? � a drug dealer who also dabbles in weapons. Anyhoo, don�t expect goofy-ass comedy. Expect an emotional drama that is actually quite good, but fortunately also has light moments. Of course, movie quotes come to mind. �MIMES! SILENT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!� Clown, SHAKES THE CLOWN �When that camera turns off, he�s gonna fuck that little dog.� Big Black Woman Clown, SHAKES THE CLOWN �I never had . . . a CLOWN before.� The Florence Henderson character, SHAKES THE CLOWN I still think clowns are part of that drunken, drug-ridden, flea-bitten, seedy, pedophile carny image that I can�t seem to shake. When I worked as a singing telegram I occasionally had to dress up as a clown and I hated it. It was simply nightmare food in my mind. That and I still have images of that evil clown doll in POLTERGEIST. Remember that movie?? �They�re heeeeeeerrrreee.� Of course, NOT ALL CLOWNS are the drunken, drug-ridden, flea-bitten, seedy, pedophile carny image that I have. Just some of them. Like some priests. And those that are should be keelhauled, in my personal arrogant opinion. Keelhauled and then dunked in lemon juice. And forced to listen to John Tesh singing Sex Pistols songs. Actually one thing I�d pay to see is hard rock singers performing Disney songs. Imagine Axl Rose singing the theme from ROBIN HOOD: �Robin Hood and L�il John walking through the forest!!!! Laughin� back n� forth at what the other �un had to say!!!!� Or Lemmy singing the Tiki Bird theme song! Augh! ADDITIONAL: Holy fucking shit. 40 people have been killed, 1000s injured by bombs in the London Underground and on busses. WTF??? A European faction of Al-Queda have taken responsibility as a protest against G-8. WTF??? Why?? WHY?? Because someone's narrow-minded universe is not the utopia he or she expects it to be, blow up a bunch of people who really simply just want to go on breathing and eating! Welcome to the human fucking race! MY universe is not exactly what I want it to be! I don't kill people over it, though! I don't take out a subway car because my eggs were runny this morning! Now I just feel sick and sad. More sick. I'm going to log off the internet and cry a little, I think.
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