Refusing to give in to the toxicity My mother has neither a sense of humor nor a sense of originality. She also lacks basic tact; but that's another story altogether. We recently (yesterday) acquired four lovely little finches. This was not a surprise acquisition; we actually planned to start keeping these little beasts. We think they are sweet and make a pleasant noise. Furthermore, they create a nice breeze as they flutter about their cage. We purchased a nice large cage and Gary made several perches out of manzanita branches, in several different sizes, like it was suggested. We put fine grade sandpaper on other perches to wear down their little claws. We got in some good finch chow and a beak block and we will be adding to this little apartment of theirs soon, including little nests because apparently finches breed like bunnies. We got four because they are society birds and they're so tiny. We actually got two pairs, male and female, and the bird lady at the shop gave us a primer on how to sex them. It was fun watching her try to snatch these little birds out of the cage. They're small and sneaky. We got them home and into the cage without any mishap or escape attempts, and they seem to enjoy their new roost. Because I have a penchant for naming things (animals, plants, car parts) I suggested that we call them Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Bob. Bob, because well, it's more amusing that way. Gary thought it was funny at any rate. He was rather pleased about calling one of them Bob. Later, I called my dad to wish him Happy Father's Day and to basically give him grief (which is a daughter's place after all) and Mom got on the line after a while and we chatted and I told her about the birds. I told her what we had decided to name them and then she got all confused. Why didn't we just name the last one Thyme? She didn't get it. Why did we name the last bird after Gary's father? (a coincidence) Why not name the last bird Cilantro or Dill to keep with the herb theme? Isn't there another herb name mentioned in the song to name the bird? The bird's name shouldn't be Bob. I tried to explain that naming the bird Bob was merely for our amusement, and furthermore, there is a shop/restaurant in Napa Valley with the same name and it tickled the hell out of me, hence naming these little tweeters by these names.
Um okay, like I'm going to change the name of a bird because she didn't like it. Mom however, has a history of saying thing like this: "If Gary would just comb his hair differently, that bald spot wouldn't show so much." "Why do you have that ugly painted dragon in the living room? Why can't you just get rid of it?" "I think Gary should give his cats away before you move Max (my old ancient cat) in so Max doesn't get upset." Here's one I got as a teenager shen i won a scholarship to a tap dance school in California. "Why did you go for THAT scholarship? There's no way you're going to that. I thought you were going for a local scholarship to a tap dance school. What made you think of doing something like that?" Gary says that someday she's going to open her mouth and the person she mouths off to will swiftly shut it up for her. I believe it. One time, I got so sick of her veiled insults (always followed with "Oh, I'm just kidding") that I threatened to punch her not too lightly in the bicep and then said, "Oh, I'm just kidding. Will that make it hurt any less, do you suppose?" She didn't get it. I'm so glad she lives so far away currently and that I don't have to have her so much in my daily routine. Not that venting here is keeping her out of my mind. The thing was, my joy about getting these sweet little birds and sharing my joy was overshadowed by her attitude. But I'll get to enjoy them nonetheless, my little tweeters, Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Bob.
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