Bertie Whacks Colorful Lobotomy
Friday, Mar. 02, 2007 at 8:23 a.m.
On this day in 1982, science fiction author Philip K Dick dies of a stroke in Santa Ana, California. Since 1974 the author had been possessed by a superalien who arrived in his head via a beam of pink light.
Why would an alien choose to transport himself via a beam of light, regardless of its color? I don�t know that much about light but it doesn�t seem like an efficient or pleasant mode of transportation. Just getting on to the tram seems dodgy at best.
Really, though, what is it with aliens taking up residence inside our fatty cholesterol-laded bodies anyway? We really can�t be that healthy of a host, not with McD�s being eaten for every meal.
Seriously, do they? I just can�t get my clothes to fit right anymore. Of course, speaking of Scientologists makes me speak of Tom Cruise, which makes me speak about a movie recently watched:
Rain Man: This is an amazing movie, no doubt about it. A little dated now, but once again, this film proves that the role Tom Cruise is best meant to play is an ass. With enough brainwashing gentle persuasion, Katie will be the new Raymond. Whatever happened to Valeria Golino, Cruise�s girlfriend from this flick? IMDb shows her as appearing in mostly Italian-language films. You go, Valeria.
A Prairie Home Companion: I know that this movie wasn�t generally well-liked, mostly because of the pseudo-documentary-ish nature of the film. If anyone other than Robert Altman tried that with the subject matter, I don�t think it would have worked so well. The movie has a bit of soppiness to it (what with the re-appearing �Dangerous Woman�/angel of death) but the whole thing reads as a �Lake Woebegone� monologue. And I rather like those meandering stories, so I rather enjoyed this movie. Woody Harrelson and Meryl Streep can sing, though.
The Wrong Rut: This is one of those morality/exploitation films from the fifties of the �girl got herself in trouble� kinds, and you know what kind of trouble that is. Sally, a 19-year-old with no particular place to go, ends up chasing after a dark and brooding piano player, running away from home in the process. She meets the guy with a heart of gold, but discovers that her one-time tryst with Broody Piano Player leaves her pregnant. Disturbed and upset, she ditches the Heart of Gold Guy and finds herself in a very progressive half-way house for unwed mothers. Then, suddenly and sloppily edited in, you get to watch a Caesarian birth health film. Yikes! Then it goes back to the regular feature. Sally gives up her child, but then she puts herself into a such a depressed state that she unwittingly and briefly kidnaps another woman�s baby, who was left in a pram outside the grocery store. Like I said, this is the fifties, and apparently, you could leave your child just anywhere and it was okay! Sally is released with the charges dropped due to a sympathetic ADA, who feels that poor Sally has been punished enough. Just then, Heart of Gold Guy appears! He still loves her! But then she flips out and leads him on a not-so-merry chase, and just when you think that Sally will pull an Anna Karenina, Heart of Gold Guy falls down and beings weeping, and Sally goes to hug him. The end. Really. Just like that.
Birthright: It�s hard to tell if this thing is a documentary made by the State of Georgia Health Authority or a bad attempts at drama played by actual chicken farmers. John is married to Liza, and they live with her parents on a chicken farm. John�s not a very good chicken farmer, and Mister and Mizzuz Jarrett (played by a real husband and wife) give John no end of grief about it. John decides to drown his sorrows in some sour corn mash served up by the hotsy-totsy (not) waitress at the local greasy spoon, and he ends up in bed with her, natch. There is this odd sequence with waitress Nell taking off her clothes (booby shot!) while she keeps looking at the camera, like a director was yelling instructions at her. Anyway. Liza�s now expecting a baby, and John wants her to see a doctor, but since this is backwater Georgia, who needs a doctor? Just then, their little town is filled with Health Authority people demanding that everyone in the tri-county area get their blood and other fluids tested for everything under the sun! John was happens to be wandering by when a nurse pounces on him and makes him take all their tests. Dun-dun-dun . . . guess what? John got syphilis from the waitress! And to make matters worse, Liza and the baby may be infected as well! So they all have to undergo treatment, but Liza finds that neo-natal care is very helpful and important. Everyone gets a clean bill of health, and then we�re treated to an up-close and personal badly inserted filmed breech birth! And I say, that poor kid got folded in half and backwards just trying to get out. I know that breech births can be very dangerous, but an infant is not a Stretch Armstrong�, doc! Geez! When we finally get back to our real movie, the baby is fine, John�s fine, Liza�s fine, everyone�s fine, and John finally becomes the best chicken farmer in the area. We are left to assume that Nell the waitress did have her syphilis cured but she will never be made whole again.
I suppose that the diner was eventually renovated into this fine establishment:
Which is down the road �a piece� from this shop:
But if faster food is more to your liking, you can always visit here:
Well, anyway kids, I�ll be gone for a week as Hubster and I are going to visit my �rents in Florida. Be good til I get back. Or at least be careful and avoid Nell the waitress and the Broody Piano player if you�re not going to protect yourself.
Ta!