Horny Horny Horny Horny
Monday, Sept. 18, 2006 at 10:18 a.m.
On this day in 1970, a sleeping Jimi Hendrix dies in London from of a barbiturate overdose when chunks of vomited tuna sandwich wind up in his lungs, causing him to choke.
Also on this day in 1978, KISS releases their four solo albums. I wanna rock�n�roll all night!
Happy Monday, kids. I was thinking to myself, �Self, when was the last time you used this space to actually review some movies, given that your passion is movies?� I haven�t slowed down the movie-watching, but I have been lax in reporting what I�ve been seeing. So in an effort to curtail the Valkyrie�s Movie Reporting Slacking, I bring you . . .
S.O.B.: Blake Edward�s amazing film from 1981 that harpoons the movie-making industry. Felix Farmer (Richard Mulligan), after making a huge string of blockbusters, makes a flop, and the movie execs are out for blood. After Felix goes through a series of poor (and really funny) suicide attempts, he finally flips his lid and decides to buy the film from the studio and refilm it as a porn movie, complete with his wife and star Sally (Julie Andrews) removing her top in a key sequence. Unfortunately, all anyone seems to remember about this movie is getting to see Julie�s bodacious tatas, which are, in fact, quite lovely. However, this movie has so much depth lasting friendships and passion for one�s vision that seems to get forgotten once Julie removes her top. This movie has one of the best endings ever. And I love the continuing shots with the dog on the beach. Haven�t seen it in a while? Watch it again. Blake Edwards made this movie as a response to how he had been treated by the movie execs in the 1970�s. Unfortunately, this disc has no extras, and I would have loved commentary on this one.
The First Nudie Musical: Another �movie in a movie� story by Bruce Kimmel from 1975. Harry Schechter (Stephen Nathan) has made a string of porn movies that fail financially, and he and his secretary (Cindy Williams) get the idea to create a porno musical. And it�s not O, Calcutta!, in fact, the show is called, Come, Come Now! (in the commentary, Bruce states how he didn�t know that in this context, come is more than likely spelt differently) Thankfully, Cindy Williams never gets naked, but quite a few other people do, and the songs are hilarious, in particular, the �Dancing Dildo� number wherein the lead singer says, �Girls, Press Your Buttons!�, and the guys in very good vibrator costumes start shaking like a Tickle Me Elmo doll. (Make sure you look for the big black one in the background) If The Producers could be redone on Broadway, so can this. Features a cameo by none other than Ron Howard, who asks during the auditions, �Is this SAG?�
The Frightened Girl: This Italian movie from 1969 has a character named Sayer, a misogynistic philanthropist on the weekday and a misogynistic sadist on the weekend. When his usual hooker can�t make the weekend, he kidnaps his secretary, Mary, to take her place. However, over time, the lines between the dom and the sub get extremely blurred. Sayer�s house, though, is an utter scream with its dungeons and walls that automatically scroll up or down and the �dryer� for when they get out of the shower. Kubrick would have lived here. There is also a scene that features an enormous sculpture of a woman�s hips and legs, lying in an open prone position, complete with a walk-in vagina with doors that close like sharp teeth. Issues with vagina dentata? Hmmm? Anyway. The movie also had a car that could also be driven in the water, like a little speedboat. Does anyone know anything about these? The Hubster vaguely remembers that there weren�t very many and they tended to sink.
I�ve also been watching a lot of Japanese movies with a recurring character called Kekko Kamen, a lovely woman who wears a red Mexican-wrestler-type mask. And nothing else. Her signature attack is a flying spread-legged leap called the �Mufficator�.
I am not kidding.
Does anyone else see a pattern here?
Hubster�s been sick again. And I think I broke him early in the marriage. And he needed breaking. He�s an engineer, after all.
Man, talk about broke:
That poor guy�s having a bad day. So is this guy:
This guy�s gonna have a bad day, but his buddies had the best time ever:
Excellent.