TH 13: First Lines of the next Great American Novel
Thursday, Sept. 07, 2006 at 8:10 a.m.
When Joe took his first drag on the cigarette, he noticed that the flavor was not so such nicotine as it was a carload of assholes.
Her name may have been Aphrodite, but it appeared that she�d been hit one too many times with the ugly stick.
Karen turned in horror as she heard Phil utter the most dangerous phrase, �Hey! Watch this!�
Stella huddled against the brick wall in the dark, thinking to herself, if this goes on, he will eventually kill me.
Abe had woken up many strange places in his life, but he�d never before been found by the cops buck naked in a courtyard, clutching a bottle of hot sauce.
Faye�s eyes grew wide as the phrase hit the chart with a bullet took on a whole new meaning.
Milo leaned against the support pole and wondered what in the world he was going to do with a 19th-century rickshaw.
�Hello, this is Presbyterian Hospital, and we have two patients stuck in a bed.�
�Hey, you can do whatever you want with the girl, but leave me alone!�
Maria grimaced as she heard her toddler pounding on the door, and she idly wondered if she�d ever be allowed to go to the bathroom on her own again.
Tony reached blindly for the bottle of bourbon and recoiled when he touched a human head instead.
Eddie knelt by the coffin that held the body of his wife, trying to pray to a God he no longer believed in.
Laura was so entranced by the majesty of the fir trees growing all around her that she didn�t hear the mountain lion behind her, ready to pounce.
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I stole this exercise from the lovely and talented poolagirl and it was actually harder than I thought it would be. I plan on doing the NaNoWriMo (the National Novel Writing Month) and so I need to do more exercises like this one. Of course, I have been furiously writing the Cowboy Bebop fanfics, but a novel frightens the hell out of me. Still, I plan to try. The focus of NaNo is actually quantity over quality, so I at least have a chance.
On this day in 1978, Keith Moon, drummer for The Who, dies in his London residence from an overdose of chlormethiazole edisylate, a prescription drug used to treat alcoholism. Moon's flat, #12 Curzon Place, was the same spot where Mama Cass died of a heart attack in 1974.
ALSO on this day in 1978, walking to the bus stop, BBC journalist Georgi Markov suddenly feels a sharp pain in his right calf. A KGB assassin had jabbed him with an umbrella tip, rigged to inject a tiny platinum sphere. The pellet is laden with ricin, a castor-based toxin with no known antidote. Markov dies in the hospital four agonizing days later.
On this day in 1978, I was in third grade and was probably studying phonics with Mrs. Caldwell, a tall and lovely lady who is also a cancer survivor. You go, Mary! Also in 1978, I remember C.R. or P.S. bringing the 45 single �The Wall� into music class and playing it for Sister Rose, who responded, �Well, that was just sinful.�
Segue!
Speaking of sinful, here�s a test of your perversity:
Yep, check out the lady on the left and the guy on the right. Think you know what you�re seeing? Thinking, �How could this city set out art like this???�
Uh-huh. Now check it out from another angle:
You sick, little, twisted monkeys. How I love each and every one of you.