Always going forward, because we can't go in reverse
Thursday, Apr. 20, 2006 at 8:18 a.m.
I wasn�t going to say anything about TomKat and the new baby, but I really can�t help myself. Time will tell if Suri is actually spawned from the frozen semen of L.Ron Hubbard himself. I still really wish pregnant celebrities would at least have a shotgun wedding before squeezing out a pup.
But then, I also wish that the President would get a brain transplant.
Furthermore, I can no longer look at Tom Cruise without thinking the words bell tower and machine gun. My only hope is that he will prove himself too weird for even Hollywood, and he will essentially become the Howard Hughes of the 21st century.
The thing is, that there must be some Scientologists that are fairly rational creatures. You don�t go from �cult� status to �recognized religion� status without: (a) a plausible credo, and/or (b) the numbers of people organized therein. Like the Mormons. But to have an international religion based on body-possessing aliens and the removal thereof from your physical being, being done only through the taking of every single dollar you have? No, REALLY.
And you thought South Park was being facetious.
I, on the other hand, actually do have problems with whether or not someone is being facetious. I�m terribly gullible. This makes me the willing and easy butt of many practical jokes. This also makes me a terrible poker player.
For example, I would take this sign seriously:
I�d go inside and ask about recipes.
Here�s a sign that I guarantee will not work:
Especially with the likes of bluemeany. Honestly, don�t piss off people who carry M-16s and know how to field-strip them in the dark!!
Just don�t send them to pick up the Chinese food:
Yes, Fat Duck Surprise, indeed. Ta!