Loo paper and other sentiments Husband and ILs came home safely Friday evening from Uncle Allan�s funeral. Dingo, the dog-in-law, was so excited to see MIL that he nearly had a stroke. He barked and danced and barked so more, and then piddled with joy. Gypsy then got in the act because, gosh darn it, she wanted to play too! The cats scattered, with the exception of Max, who raised his head from his semi-sleeping position, grunted, and went back to sleep. The birds caused a ruckus as well, so it was quite a cacophony in the household. Gary brought home a program and we visited for a while about the funeral. Apparently representatives from the Bureau of Land Management present and past came from all over, and there was about 200 people there. Wow. I�m not even sure I KNOW 200 people, much less having that many come to my funeral. Gary also told me about Uncle Allan�s toilet paper collection � he would collect about a dozen sheets from different locations and put them in scrapbooks. It�s one of the more interesting collections I�ve heard about. Apparently the Mt. Rushmore toilet paper was his favorite. However this raised a discussion about how you can�t find colored toilet paper anymore in the US. Why is this? I rather enjoyed accenting my bathroom d�cor with loo paper. Maybe here in the US we got all anti-dye, anti-perfume when wiping nether regions. Also, now instead of guest towels or handtowels you can put out these soft paper towels � disposable � so that you don�t have germ-laden damp guest fingertip towels, which no one ever used anyway because they were sequin- or embroidery-laden. Or otherwise not usuable as a hand rag. Also like those dishtowels that are oh so designer now � I can�t see myself wiping up the counter with those, but apparently I�m not supposed to do that because I�m just spreading germs around. My mom wiped the kitchen down everyday with those dishcloths that got changed out every couple of days at the most, and I managed to survive. Of course, I also had to deal with lead paint, playing outdoors in the sun, drinking from a garden hose, not riding in a car seat, and eating baloney. I managed to live! Personally, if you lead one of those germ-free lives, you get some of that stuff by accident, it�s gonna lay your ass out dead, so build up your resistance to chemicals! It�s the only way we�re gonna survive if Idiot Son of an Asshole Bush gets him way and invades all countries because they might have a weapon or two! The US has probably the biggest stockpile of WMDs ever and I�m just waiting for another Idiot in Charge of a Country to give us our just desserts. Actually, I have to put this in. This is an angry letter from a Londoner to the terrorists: �What the fuck do you think you're doing? This is London. We've dealt with your sort before. You don't try and pull this on us. All you've done is end some of our lives, and ruin some more. How is that going to help you? You don't get rewarded for this kind of crap. And if, as your MO indicates, you're an al-Qaeda group, then you're out of your tiny minds. Because if this is a message to Tony Blair, we've got news for you. We don't much like our government ourselves, or what they do in our name. But, listen very clearly. We'll deal with that ourselves. We're London, and we've got our own way of doing things, and it doesn't involve tossing bombs around where innocent people are going about their lives. And that's because we're better than you. Everyone is better than you. Our city works. We rather like it. And we're going to go about our lives. We're going to take care of the lives you ruined. And then we're going to work. And we're going down the pub. So you can pack up your bombs, put them in your arseholes, and get the fuck out of our city.� �nuff said.
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