TH13: Pet Names I Have Called the Hubster (besides Hubster)
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2008 at 7:52 a.m.
1. Honey
2. Honey-Bear
3. Honey-Boo
4. Honey-Beary-Boo
5. Fuzzy-Wuzzy
6. Fuzzy-Wuzzy-Beary-Boo
7. Honey-Beluga-Bear
8. Sweetie-Pootie-Pie
9. Schnicker-Doodle
10. Slinky-Dog
11. Furry-Bear
12. Olaf
13. Throbbing-Crotch-Rocket-Of-Love
So yeah, who needs some insulin now? Geez, how disgusting. And yeah, he is kind of hairy. I have to keep checking his back. Not that he has hair there. Yet. But the chest hair is creeping towards the shoulders and I have to keep monitoring its progress. He�s definitely hairier since I started having sex with him. He also has the really hairy nipple thing happening for him and it�s kind of weird to me. I keep threatening to pluck him but he gets all squeamish.
And I have no intention of explaining the whole �Olaf� thing, but I think you can gather the origins of the �Throbbing� et.al. I have also called him �Roger�, to which he responds by calling me �Betty� (in fact, Betty and Roger are our bowling names) and I�ve also called him the �Thunder Down Under� but then he really starts getting full of himself and swaggering about the house, at which point I begin chasing him with tweezers and screaming, �I�m gonna pluck you!!�
And he has the beginnings of those crazy old-man eyebrows, you know, the ones that extend out from the head about an inch. Ewww. What is it with men and hair in freakish places? What�s wrong with the top of the head? Design flaw, if you ask me. Or even further proof that God has a sense of humour.
Anyhoo, how are you guys? Me, I�m galumphing along. I went to Curves yesterday and found out that I�m not working out nearly hard enough � this of course was prompted by my whining that I was bored with the routine (so smart, I am) � because the girl there followed me around and proceeded to kick my ass. Thanks, Kim. I could break you in half, you little skinny thing. But I�ll let you kiss my ass for now.
Work is still the same, although I had to get another desk fish, as Spike had an untimely death due to the lousy tap water that comes through the pipes of this building. It�s full of sulfur. I came in one Monday to see poor Spike nose down in the gravel, and my cube stunk like devilled eggs. Now, I love me some devilled eggs, and I was wondering who would have left me such an odd gift when I saw the fish. So I now I use the water cooler water and I got me a new new fish:
This is Spot. He�s a lovely salmon-pink with a blue iridescence and he has spots. Hence his name. (Sometimes I�m not too original.) I was tempted to name him Twink after the office Twink, about whom you can read in my friend and co-worker�s blog, I Miss My Sanity. Twink�s quite a character. She�s 19 and about as clueless as an Amish kid who�s been dropped kicked into Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I think, though, my next car will be named Twink. Or my next cat. Or both. I�m not above name multiple things the same name, much like George Foreman�s kids. Right now, my car, cell phone, and two different iPods are named Trixie.
Well, I think that�s enough for now, as my next movie�s kind of loaded onto Netflix on my computer. However, I did recently watch the 1973 movie Silent Night, Bloody Night and it actually was pretty good. For 1973. Hell, it had John Carradine, for heaven�s sakes. And half of Andy Warhol�s entourage (although, thankfully, for the most part, most of them didn�t speak). I think a double feature with Black Christmas would be in order! Next up on the Netflix queue - The Devil�s Daughter. Oh yeah. Satanism on a celluloid plate! Woot!