TH13: Ranting, Raving, and Generally Kvetching
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2008 at 8:21 a.m.
1) . . . so the chicken says to the hen, �There goes the rooster I�m layin� for.�
2) Apparently, Dr. Pepper� is a taste sensation of 23 flavors. What the hell flavors are they cramming in there? I mean, there�s the cola and the cherry and the vanilla � but then you�d think they�d just run out of palatable flavors. I�d be worried that they�re adding the flavors of Vidalia onions, bacon bits, and earwax just to make up the 23 flavors. Or is monosodium glutamate considered a flavor?
3) I�m annoyed at the citizens of New Orleans. I heard on the news that if another hurricane comes their way during this season, many people will now refuse to evacuate since Gustav was not so destructive to the city. Okay, all that was proven is that the levees can withstand a category 2 hurricane, and even then, water was coming over the top. Those damn things need to be about oh, 8 feet higher and about 3 feet thicker. You people live under sea level, okay?
4) I frankly don�t give a holy rat�s ass that Palin�s kid is having a baby. What does that have to do with her ability to potentially be vice-president?
5) Man, even Care Bears� are out on the skids now.
6) Am I going to go to hell for registering Republican so I can bring down the system from within?
7) Also, if I write in a Democrat (who is actually running on the Democratic ticket) on the Republican ballot, will those votes count for that Democrat? I�m trying to get rid of Sheriff Joe Arpaio without resorting to killing him. Because that would take too much energy to do. And he has too many lackeys and there�s too much desert to leave a body in around here � specifically, my body.
8) Speaking of desert, why not make Nevada one big solar panel? And this was the Hubster�s idea � then all the prisoners in the state could be on panel polishing detail.
9) In the name of God, why??
10) That�s not a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Gads, I hope he washed his hands. And got some help.
11) Whatever happened to Marjoe Gortner?
12) Can you believe that I�m still having trouble finding pants that fit? I think that I will be forever having this struggle. I was hoping that weight loss would reduce the bubble on my lower back that is known as my ass. So far, I�ve been losing weight everywhere but. I mean, I don�t want to be a flat butt person, but this is beyond J.Lo proportions. Perhaps I can join a sideshow as the World�s Whitest Hottentot.
13) Perhaps if I release all the flying monkeys out of my ass, my ass would deflate like a WWII weather balloon. That would be a fun sight to watch. Hopefully I�d be able to load it up on YouTube. I just hope the flying monkeys wouldn�t make a horrible farting noise as they vacated my butt. I have enough trouble with that as it is.