Back with the ranting
Tuesday, Jun. 02, 2009 at 7:15 a.m.
What the hell is up with scrapbooking?
It seems that every craft store and outlet is dedicated to scrapping in some form and fashion. There are acres of fancy papers for a quarter apiece, all sorts of brads and embellishments and stickers and rub-ons and transfers and punches and cut-outs, all of which, when collected in high numbers, will send you to the poorhouse.
Now wait a moment, I hear you say. Aren�t you the woman with enough yarn to stretch to Mars and back?
Well, yes. However, when I knit something, generally, the end product is something useful. Generally. I�ll say that with a grain of salt, because I know that I�ve come up with wacky stuff:
However, technically, even this giant squid is useful. Why? Because it can keep your head warm because it�s a hat:
But a scrapbook? I�ll admit that it�s a good way to archive photographs, but the damn book just sits there. And looking at other people�s scrapbooks is the modern equivalent of being forced to look at people�s vacation slides from 1967.
This still doesn�t explain, however, why my local craft store is given over 50% of their floor space to scrapping. And I see people buy the stuff! I hate getting in line behind the woman (always a woman) with her 312 sheets of fancy paper, all of which has to be scanned separately, half of which is unmarked, 24% is on clearance but unmarked as such, 17% is damaged/folded/spindled/mutilated/urine-stained so that the woman demands a discount, and then the remaining 9% (yes, I added up the percentages) she has to hem and haw over while I stand there with my two skeins of yarn that will get me through the next project, which I�m trying to get done and stockpiled for the Christmas season.
I hear about scrapping parties. It seems very messy to me. First, you have to lug all that stuff (but for which there are any number of scrapping rollers and totes and carry-alls and satchels and bags in general) and then you have to have the room to spread it all out, and then there�s all the brads and bits and bobs and little bits of paper and negative space remainders of punches and then who stole my Mickey Mouse punch? No, not that one. I had the purple one with the scratch on the side. That�s how I know it�s mine. Watch out! Don�t spill that! Then you have to pack it all back into your scrapping rollers and totes and carry-alls and satchels and bags in general and then lug it all back to your domicile and put everything away in your pantries and cubbys and shelves and drawers and scrapping crafting tables.
Don�t even get me started on digital scrapbooking. Mostly because I�m not even sure what that is.
Scrappers. Sheesh.
Now.
Where�s my yarn and needles and stitch markers and scissors and stitch holders and needle gauge and tape measure and cable needles and darning needles and tapestry needles and split-ring markers and waste yarn and crochet hook and project bag and leather thimble and . . .