This is Signage Tap
Thursday, Dec. 04, 2008 at 7:47 a.m.
Hola, keeds. I�m still sick. I actually have no voice and I have been unable to talk for the past two days. Last night, the Hubster moved into the spare bedroom because of my constant coughing. I think a trip to a doc in the box is in order.
Anyhoo, you want some signs? Let�s do some signs.
And a 6-ft woman too, really. Let�s be fair. And non-judgmental.
You really have to watch out for the Giant Tentacled Penis Monsters while swimming in the Sea of Japan! The recommended swimwear is a chastity belt made from a brand-new combination of Kevlar� and carbon-fiber developed by NASA!
Really, though, what animal lives in a conch shell? Is it a big snail? A big crab? Whatever it is, conch shells are really big and whatever lives in there could probably chew my leg off. Maybe it�s a Giant Tentacled Penis Monster. Perhaps they have to keep finding new shells as they outgrow them but they�re pissy because they�re homeless so they go after lithe androgynous swimmers with purple hair!
Can I press it with my ass? If I use �CAUTIOM�, that is. That�s the brand name for the material that is used in those new chastity belts being used in the Sea of Japan against the shell-less Giant Tentacled Penis Monsters.
Wow. I can�t think of anything to say for that. I think that sign says it all.
It�s all in the marketing, they say. If they�d put �organic� on the sign, the bananas�d be gone.
Well, that�s just going to really lengthen the commute for The Great Space Coaster.
Trading the Son of Man for bacon. What a world, eh?
Wait a minute. Bacon�s not kosher!
Whether �tis nobler in the legs to suffer the charley horses of the outrageous stair climb,
Or to press the �Up� button against a slow elevator and by opposing, reach the correct floor.
To drive, to park � no more.