Attack of the Cigarette Smoking Ninja Nuclear Vegan Monkeys
Monday, Jan. 14, 2008 at 8:54 a.m.
So last week was an expensive week in la casa Valkyrie. Over the previous weekend, it occurred to me that a load of towels had been tumbling in the dryer on HIGH heat for nearly three hours, which seemed a little excessive, even for the thick and fluffy towels I prefer to use. So I poked my head into the dryer, expecting to get my glasses fogged over for my trouble, but instead found a cold dryer and soppy towels. I went and told the Hubster of said problem, and he grumbled and I grumbled and I draped towels all over and Hubster pulled out the dryer and poked around a bit and went out to the appliance parts store and got a $30 fuse and plugged it in and the heating coil went all red hot and we got excited and then the coil went ting.
Seriously, the coil went ting.
So we went to the Mecca of all appliances, Sears�, with Consumer Reports in hand and we poked and prodded and kicked the tires of all the dryers available. Of course, the salesgirl tried to upsell us a new washer too, which we don't need (yet) thank you very much, and even Consumer Reports says that washers and dryers don't have to match, so there.
After a bit of panic that I couldn't get the dryer I picked out until the 25th, we found that we could get the chosen dryer on Thursday, and that Sears� delivery would call on Wednesday night to dictate to us what time they'd arrive to deliver. Yeah, we don't even get to choose a time anymore. What happened to customer service?
So Wednesday night rolls around, and Hubster has decided that he should be able to disappear from work to receive the dryer so long as it's at a time that's a little more convenient. Of course, we should have know that convenience and appliance delivery are two completely disparate terms, much like military and intelligence . . . and the chirpy girl from Home Delivery said that the dryer would make landfall between 8:15 and 10:15 am. Who the hell finds that a convenient time? Not the Valkyrie nor the Hubster, who both work from 7 am to 4 pm!
So I made the executive decision that I'd call in sick at work (*coff*) and accept the dryer and then I'd be a happy domestic bee and do laundry for the rest of the day. And anyway, I was seriously running out of underwear and I only own about 167 pairs of the things. I was getting desperate.
Thursday morning rolls around and I manage to call in sick before my perpetually ill coworker A does (score!) and I do some housework and I plop down in the recliner to knit and watch a bad movie and wait for the delivery of my new dryer. Then I get the phone call.
Delivery Center Drone: Hi there, I'm calling to let you know that your dryer didn't get on the truck, and we need to schedule a new day of delivery.
Valkyrie: Do what now?
DCD: Your dryer didn't get on the truck.
Valkyrie: Why not?
DCD: Ummmm. . . I don't know, but we need to schedule a new delievery date.
Valkyrie: No, you need to call the dispatcher and tell them to go back to the freaking store and pick up my dryer. I took a day off work for this.
DCD: Ummm. Okay. Ummmm. I can call the store when it opens . . .
Valkyrie: Don't hurt yourself, sweetie. I'll do it myself.
DCD: What?
*click*
So I call the store when it opens and give the guy who picks up the phone a small piece of my mind, and then I'm surprised to hear the appliance salesman actually say, "Goddammit, I just solved the same problem for another customer! What is their problem over there? I will call you back in 10 minutes." And he does! This time, he says, "I got two guys and a pick up truck and your dryer. What's your address? They'll be there in 30 minutes." And they were! And now I have a new dryer and it hums and it's hot and it dries and it makes the worst buzzing noise ever when the cycle's done. I think the buzzer was designed to be heard from the basement in a 3-story house when you're locked in a lead box in the attic.
And I've been getting calls from delivery asking me when they can deliver my dryer. So I could have actually gotten another dryer. Then I'd have two. But my Ethics and Morals kicked in and I told them that I'd gotten my dryer, thank you.
However, on Monday (before I got my new dryer) I went into the kitchen in the morning and found that my kitchen rug was soaking wet. Not a pleasant feeling in bare feet when you're not awake yet, to walk onto a soaking wet rug. When my vision cleared, I figured that the dishwasher has leaked for some reason, and I looked in the dishwasher and it hadn't drained, so I clicked the "drain" button and it did its thing. Then I saw in the bottom of the dishwasher a plastic serving spoon was caught up in a spinner thing so I figured that that has caused the problem and I put the dishes away and hung up the rug to dry (this was before the new dryer arrived, remember?). But then on Friday morning (after the new dryer arrived) I again walked bleary-eyed and barefoot into the kitchen and walked onto a soaking wet rug. Again. I looked in the dishwasher (again), found it full of dirty water (again) and I set it to drain (again) and it took two pushes of the button this time to fully empty.
Valkyrie: Honey? I don't think you want to hear this.
Hubster: Then don't tell me.
Valkyrie: I think the dishwasher's dead too.
Hubster: It came with the house. It's older than the dryer.
Valkyrie: I know. I think we need to make another trip to Sears. Unless you want to tinker with it.
Hubster: No, I don't. I guess we're going back to Sears. I'll look in Consumer Reports. sigh I don't think I like taking you shopping. It's always so expensive for me.
That last statement, of course, prompted me into a discourse about how I work full-time too, and even though I don't make as much money, I contribute to this household just as much, perhaps even more so, and Hubster was just a poophead, and see if he got any that night, but he did anyway, darn that sexy beast of mine. :^) I think he just likes to rile me up.
So Friday night we made a date of picking out a new dishwasher from Sears� and we got a very knowledgeable salesman (although we were armed with the dishwasher edition of Consumer Reports as well) and we picked out the #4 dishwasher, the only difference from the #1 dishwasher being the lack of turbo cleaning jets and $175 lower price. As we were working out payment and delivery, it was discovered that our salesman was the very guy who has saved my kiester the day before and got my dryer delivered to me! So he got my gushing thanks, not that we got a discount or anything, but my new dishwasher will be installed on Tuesday. I'm taking the day off work again, but Tuesdays are supposed to be my day off anyway. And I have to finish cleaning the house before my folks arrive on Thursday anyway.
So now we have two new appliances to pay off by next January to be free of finance charges. Sigh. What's next?
In other news, I actually gained a pound last week, but I'm assured that that's because my body is kind of freaking out with the whole WW thing. If I keep on track, the numbers will go back to their downward trajectory. And there's still 5.8 pounds less of me to love, so there. I think I'd be able to stay on track if this is the kind of desserts I'd expect to see out there:
Um, no thanks. Not for me.