A Little Bit MeMe, A Little Bit YouYou
Thursday, Dec. 13, 2007 at 8:08 a.m.

On This Day in 303, the feast of St. Lucy. Because her extreme beauty attracted too many admirers, Lucy gouged her own eyes out. Miraculously they grew back. After refusing to marry, the Romans forced her to become a whore. Early depictions show Lucy offering her eyes on a platter; she is now the patron saint of Sicily and of opticians.

Well, isn�t that just dandy? Isn�t it any wonder that Catholics in general are kind of messed up? Heh heh.

There is this meme going around that seems to be the meme of the day, or at least of the current fifteen minutes, and because I am a Bandwagon Jumper�, here is my stab:

Five Things I Just Don�t Get

1. Hummers. Especially the ones with all the polished chrome.
2. Why people don�t do their jobs
3. Why there aren�t more shoe choices for women who wear size 11
4. Why the presidential race has to start so damn early
5. Why the USA thinks it�s such a big stinking deal

Five Things, Other Than Money, I Wish I Had More Of

1. Time to knit
2. Time to take knitting classes
3. Ability to play the guitar so I can become a folk singer
4. Patience. Big doses of patience. Right now.
5. More graciousness when talking to people

Five Least Favorite Words or Phrases

1. "Can I talk to you?"
2. "You're kidding!"
3. "I was only kidding!"
4. "I'm sorry but . . . "
5. "You know what I'm saying?"

Five Famous People I�ve Spoken to In Person

1. Lyle Waggoner
2. Nick Benedict
3. John Tesh
4. Jamie Farr
5. Sheryl Crow

Five Things I Do Almost Daily That I Don�t Enjoy

1. Driving in heavy traffic with insane inconsiderate drivers
2. Talk to insane inconsiderate people
3. Take lots of medication
4. Worry about my father
5. Floss

Five Things I Wish I Had the Chance to Do More Often

1. Travel
2. Knit
3. Take a day off work and not have to do lots of errands
4. Walk in the outdoors with Hubster
5. Read

Five Favorite Movie, Television, or Literary Quotes

1. "As you wish." -- The Princess Bride
2. "I reject your reality and substitute my own." � Adam Savage, Mythbusters
3. "These go to eleven." -- This is Spinal Tap
4. "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming . . ." -- Finding Nemo
5. "I love you." "I know." -- The Empire Strikes Back

Five Things I Have Actually Done That Sound Like Lies

1. Had an affair with a married man but didn't have sex
2. Been threatened with death
3. Walked naked from the beach to a hotel and jumped in the hotel pool with a lit cigarette and an open bottle of beer
4. Threw up in someone's purse
5. Took my pants off in a crowded bar while singing "Father Abraham"

I actually had trouble with this, in particular the last list, because I have done lots of crazy things but I don't think those actions were anything outside what is normally expected of me as a fairly nutty person. I mean, of course I've danced on tables for free desserts while wearing a coffee filter on my head. Of course I've thrown crappy audio equipment into the bay. Of course I put myself through college being a stripper and belly dancer for a balloon delivery company. Naturally. Who hasn't done those things?

Anyway, things are good in the casa Valkyrie. Hubster got the new water heater installed and it works like a dream. He's also got the drywall repairs mostly done. What a good Hubster I have, ne? He's currently trying to engineer a better drain system for the new water heater so if it does blow or leak, it will drain outside rather than into the garage, but it's currently kicking his butt, so he's gone back to killing aliens on the computer.

I'm happy because I've finished the Christmas shopping and got the out-of-town gifts all mailed off. I do have to do some work in sending mailers to my Mary Kay customers, but that I can accomplish at work. I love it! Now I have time to make some candy. I feel like some fudge (with nuts and marshmallows) and some penuche. I wish I had more patience to make divinity. Perhaps I can try again. I just get too impatient and I don't stir it enough before I try to spoon it out, and I end up with weird flat blobs. Oh, speaking of weird flat blobs, Hubster was making chocolate chip cookies, and they were ending up like . . .well, weird flat blobs. Hence . . .

Conversation with Hubster:
Valkyrie: What's up with the cookies?
Hubster: I don't know. They don't taste right, they don't look right. I had trouble with the batter, and I kept adding flour. I don't know what's wrong.
Valkyrie: They've never looked like that before. And yeah, they don't taste right. Not bad, but not . . . right. Hey, did you use Bisquick instead of flour?
Hubster: No, I used flour.
Valkyrie: Are you sure? Because I just filled the flour container and the Bisquick container. The Bisquick container now looks only half full. I think you used Bisquick.
Hubster: No, I'm sure I used flour.
Valkyrie: Did you use the stuff in this container?
Hubster: Um, yeah.
Valkyrie: That's Bisquick.
Hubster: Well, you need to label the containers.
Valkyrie: What, with this kind of label? The one that says "BISQUICK"?!
Hubster: pause Well, the labels need to be bigger!

Poo to the Hubster. With knobs on!

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before o after

I suppose �odiferous pinecones� doesn�t have a good ring to it - Monday, Oct. 31, 2011
Click below to find out what he called me - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Yeah, he really did call me that - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Click below to go nowhere either fast or slowly; your choice - Monday, Mar. 08, 2010
HELLLLLLLLLLO NURSE! - Friday, Mar. 05, 2010