One's Crawling Up My Leg
Monday, Nov. 05, 2007 at 8:32 p.m.

Conversations With Hubster:

Valkyrie: Great, another movie preview with a bar-coded-post-apocalyptic-human-theme.
Hubster: Yeah.
Valkyrie: His number was �47�? 47? Why does he have such a big bar code then?
Hubster: I don�t get that either! And really, a bar code? C�mon, microchips are really the way to go.
Valkyrie: Why do the movies always put microchips in the inside forearm anyway? So it�s easier to chew it out yourself?
Hubster: Well, it�s more aesthetically pleasing to put your arm up to a scanner than your ass.
Valkyrie: Good point.
Hubster: Dumb-looking movie, though.

%%%%

Valkyrie: Maybe we should get out the blanket.
Hubster: Why? You don�t even have the sheet on you.
Valkyrie: But later I�ll get cold.
Hubster: You�ll just take my part of the sheet anyway.
Valkyrie: Fine then, I�ll take it now, and I�ll . . . rip it out from where you tucked it underneath the mattress . . . and then I�ll fart on it to claim it as mine!
Hubster: Before or after you tuck it under your butt?
Valkyrie: I don�t want the sheet now. It�s all farty.
Hubster: Man, now I have to get up and tuck the corner back under the mattress.
Valkyrie: I love you, honey.

&&&&

So anyway, we got a call from the MIL and the wayward BIL W has been located, so Hubster didn�t have to drive down to Tucson to look for him. MIL didn�t offer any explanation as to where he was, and Hubster didn�t ask. What we did learn was that W�s previous DUI was over 7 years ago and outside of the statute of limitations. However, because this DUI was considered �extreme�, his license was taken away. The car itself was impounded but since now the fines for impound are very high (as well as the installation and the monthly fee for the interlock breathalyzer), W decided to abandon the car, which will now by sold at auction. When W does have to report for jail, not only will he have to pay a fine and court costs and lawyer�s fees, he also has a pay a �jail fee�, essentially room and board fees for being in jail. Makes me glad I don�t go out drinking anymore, and if I did, Hubster would be doing the driving anyway. I suppose there are a couple of locations that we could stagger home from if we really felt the urge, but one of them is just too damn scary. Not Harley riders scary, more like ptomaine-catching scary.

And now that it�s November, I should be typing away at the NaNoWriMo, but all I have so far is this:

Christ in a sidecar.

That�s the first line. I think it works; it�s fairly universal. And that�s 4 words. Out of 50K.

Gads. I should get to work.

|

before o after

I suppose �odiferous pinecones� doesn�t have a good ring to it - Monday, Oct. 31, 2011
Click below to find out what he called me - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Yeah, he really did call me that - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Click below to go nowhere either fast or slowly; your choice - Monday, Mar. 08, 2010
HELLLLLLLLLLO NURSE! - Friday, Mar. 05, 2010






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