Eep Op Ork Ah-Ah
Monday, May. 07, 2007 at 9:22 a.m.

On This Day in 1917, the oceanliner Lusitania is torpedoed by German submarine U-20 off the coast of Ireland. The ship goes under in just 18 minutes. In their panic, the crew only manages to launch 6 of the 48 lifeboats. As a result 1,201 are killed. Contrary to published reports of the time, the passenger ship was smuggling 3,863 boxes of ammunition and 323 bundles of guncotton into Britain.

Whether there were any haystacks on the boatdecks, it is uncertain.

If you get the above reference, I�ll give you a new towel.

Anyway. I am here at work drinking Pepsi and working my way through a box of enjoying a few meringue cookies � the ones that are only sugar and egg whites and sugar and sugar. And some more sugar. But they�re low calorie and fat-free! I expect that I will be bouncing off my cube walls shortly and then crash into a drooling mess under my desk. It�s possibly a good thing that I�m here on my own for most of the day. PABB has a number of her whatever the hell it is she does when she�s not here, and A is sick once again. She�s got diabetes and migraines and cramps and smokes like a chimney and has chronic bronchitis, kidney stones, and stomach flu. Bless her heart.

May 1 marked the first day that Arizona is a completely non-smoking state, much like California, and the transition is going fairly smoothly. There is one sports ball wherein the owner thought he found a loophole by cutting two 4 foot squares in the outer wall, thereby supposedly creating an �open patio space� out of his entire establishment. The smoking police said, �Nice Try� and smacked him with a big fine. I�m personally happy because now the Hubster and I have a lot of new places to go, and I hope that we can visit our favorite dive more often � the pub n grub where we met every Tuesday for lunch while we were dating. Considering the Italian deli where we met is gone, as is the barn-cum-pub/grub where we had our wedding reception, and all of its Budweiser� banners:

And its volleyball net:

Time marches on, I suppose, but does it keep having to march across my face? I just love having to fight crow�s feet and acne. However, I suppose if I lay off the meringue cookies and Pepsi I might not have that problem. Screw that. That�s what salicylic acid is for.

I�m actually feeling a bit empty today, as I went through my yarn stash again and purged much much more than I kept. So much more. I have enough to do some Foofies� and what I�m now calling Scalpz� (various caps and hats) but most of what�s left is more designer stuff to do wacky things with. I still don�t have a working digital camera or I would show you my progress on all the projects I got going in. In fact, having to work on this Hair stuff is really upsetting my knitting tranquility. I must do more sketches to fax to the director but I want to get my fingers back into that lovely soft pile of bamboo yarn I have in my file drawer and put on the other terrible movie I have on disc today, and hopefully it will be better than yesterday�s . . .

Jungle Virgin Forces: This came to me on a compilation disc called Tales of Voodoo, although there was no real voodoo. This martial-arts turd movie was made in Indonesia in 1983 and stars . . . no one. Jalita is a jungle princess who can kill alligators and wear a red bikini with the best of them. She is the adopted daughter (sort-of) of the local Jungle High Priestess, who goes on to piss off the local witch doctor, who proceeds to wreak havoc by performing long-distance open-heart surgery. A war ensues, which is then interrupted by a bunch of students from a neighboring island who want to meet the indigenous tribe even though they were warned not to by their professor, an escapee from said tribe. However, there is another faction of students who kill the professor in order to get their mitts on a map to a supposed treasure. In fact, there�s a lot of death in this movie and the remaining characters mourn for about 1.5 seconds and then go on their merry way, getting captured by the tribes and tortured or flayed or decapitated or whatever. I think this movie was edited by a ADHD-suffering meth tweaker armed with too many razor blades and a lot of scotch tape. It appeared that the initial edit was far too short, so to make up for it, random scenes and stock footage got edited back in with complete disregard for continuity.

This was easily the worst film I have ever seen. It made Manos: The Hands of Fate look like an Alfred Hitchcock masterpiece. It made Eraserhead look like a Noel Coward play. This movie would have made the MST3K crew become slow, steady, hard drinkers. Yep, it was bad.

To make up for it, I also watched Blazing Saddles and History of the World, Part I. Any movie that has a musical number about the Inquisition is tops in my book.

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before o after

I suppose �odiferous pinecones� doesn�t have a good ring to it - Monday, Oct. 31, 2011
Click below to find out what he called me - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Yeah, he really did call me that - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Click below to go nowhere either fast or slowly; your choice - Monday, Mar. 08, 2010
HELLLLLLLLLLO NURSE! - Friday, Mar. 05, 2010






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