A Non-Maternity Girl
Friday, Mar. 30, 2007 at 8:13 a.m.

On This Day in 1981, while President Reagan undergoes surgery for a life-threatening gunshot wound, Secretary of State Alexander Haig announces to the press: "As of now, I am in control here, in the White House, pending return of the Vice President."

Um . . . I was still pretty young at this time (sorry!) and I have to wonder, where was HDubya? Was he in hiding after the shooting? One thing I do remember (it�s funny how the brain works) is that Nancy said in a later interview that she got upset (or perhaps a bit more upset, I�m counting on her being upset already that her Hubster was perforated by a Jodie Foster stalker) that the ER nurses sliced off Ronnie�s new $500 or whatever suit.

I don�t know, I think I�d be willing to sacrifice whatever I got on at that point. It�s funny though, because I also remember one time when I got into a more-than-minor car accident and I went to the ER for xrays, the woman in the curtain next to me had broken her hip, but she didn�t want them to cut off her dress. So it took a few nurses to help her out of that thing, probably causing quite a bit of pain. All for a dress from Dillard�s.

Speaking of clothing, I�ve made an interesting discovery. In women�s sizes, I wear tops that are usually in the 2X � 3X range, yet in maternity tops I can wear an XL. Now the question is, do I start wearing maternity tops because the smaller size printed on the label makes me feel more secure in my body size, albeit in a maternity top, which I have no right to wear (if there is a moratorium on women who can�t have kids wearing such obvious �I can breed� items) or do I continue wearing the largest tops I can find in the �regular women�s� area because they are obviously not maternity clothing?

Well, let�s be pragmatic about this.

Yes, a woman can be pragmatic about clothing choices.

Okay, maternity pros: The tops generally are narrower in the shoulder, have nice fitting and draping, have ample room for larger bustlines, and are generally very flattering to those of us with extra jelly in the belly, because they�re built that way. Also, styles are very hip these days with some really nice fabrics.

Maternity cons: It�s a maternity top, and I wonder if it�s recognizable as such, and I worry that I�ll constantly be asked, �When�s the baby due?�

Women�s pros: Umm. . . they�re big enough. And if you�re willing to spend the cash, some of the tops actually look like stylish.

Women�s cons: In general, the plus-size market still hasn�t figured out that they�re playing to a much larger and differently-shaped market than potatoes on stubby telephone poles. If you�re not willing to spend the cash, you�re usually a bit limited to styles from the red carpet of the downtown Bingo hall.

And the winner is . . . I need to get over myself in general.

And anyway, I�m wearing a maternity top right now, and it�s funky and stylish and fitted and slinky and v-necked and cute. And no one has asked me when the baby�s due. And I got it on clearance. Neener!

BAH anyway. Why should I concern so much with what others think, especially about what I wear? At least I wear underwear, unlike most young Hollywood celebrities. I should be more secure with myself. Like these girls:

You go!

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before o after

I suppose �odiferous pinecones� doesn�t have a good ring to it - Monday, Oct. 31, 2011
Click below to find out what he called me - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Yeah, he really did call me that - Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010
Click below to go nowhere either fast or slowly; your choice - Monday, Mar. 08, 2010
HELLLLLLLLLLO NURSE! - Friday, Mar. 05, 2010






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