Dust Bunnies are Actually Vicious Little Bitches
Monday, Feb. 12, 2007 at 8:18 a.m.
On this day in 1967, Police in London arrest Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, and Marianne Faithfull after they discover amphetamine pills, cannabis resin and Marianne scandalously naked but for a fur rug. The two Rolling Stones received jail sentences which were successfully appealed.
I really want to know how this was appealed. I mean, all you need is a farm animal is this scene really reeks of hedonism (not that there�s anything wrong with that) but how does one successfully appeal a scene like that? Other than there wasn�t enough resin to make a claim stick, and the uppers were prescription and well, look, at the time, I�m guessing that Marianne Faithfull naked was a heavenly sight on the level of a true miracle, so, hey.
Conversation with Hubster while in bed:
Valkyrie: wheeze Wow, I�m wheezing good tonight.
Hubster: Yeah.
Valkyrie: wheeze Last night I dreamed that a baby kept crying and crying, and when I finally woke up, my wheezing sounded like a baby crying.
Hubster: Between your wheezing and snoring, I don�t think I get any sleep at all. Sometimes you do both at the same time.
Valkyrie: wheeze I don�t think you�ve slept since you�ve known me. You didn�t grow up trying to sleep in my parent�s house, what with the TV blasting all hours and Mom snoring loud enough to rattle the windows.
Hubster: I�m just used to quiet.
Valkyrie: wheeze You lived alone too long, sleeping in a cave.
Hubster: Well, this cave may not be quiet, but at least it�s dark.
Valkyrie: wheeze Dark is good.
So yeah, I�ve been wheezing a lot, despite the steroids which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me now. But since I haven�t gotten off my duff long enough to actually call up the good Dr. Pulmonologist, I shouldn�t complain too much. I am the queen of procrastination lately, mostly because all I want to do is knit and watch movies.
The Wild Bunch: yes, I know I recently said I was done with the good flicks in favor of b-movie schlock, but after watching Junior Bonner I knew that I couldn�t not watch Peckinpah�s ode to excellence. And yeah, this movie is everything you heard. This movie must have been a huge shock to moviegoers with the sheer number of squibs used (something like 10K, from what I hear) after decades of seeing only the action of grabbing your gut sharply once you�ve been shot. This is not your white-hat-black-hat western, but a series of desperation and cunning and power struggles. And it�s good. At the same time, it�s good to see Earnest Borgnine in a good role before he became the laughable sidekick/servant/resident movie creepy guy that my generation knows so well.
Rent: Let me start this off by saying that I am not a Rent freak. Yes, it�s an amazing show with excellent music, and it does have tragic opera moments (being based on an opera, I should say so. If tuberculosis didn�t exist, we wouldn�t have opera.) but I never was one for camping out and sneaking into theatres during intermission to see this or any show. That being said, I thought this was a very good adaptation of a stage show for the screen. A movie is always going to be different, but this movie had excellent flow whereas I thought the stage show was very episodic, and frankly, I was never able to understand half of the lyrics anyway. I finally got the story of �Today for You, Tomorrow for Me� which, when I saw it on stage, was a fey mess of gobbledygook and I was rather more interested in the costume itself. Is this good? Yes. It is a bit dated, and you have to remember we are talking about a story that takes place almost 10 years ago, and a play that is 10 years old . . . and most of the actors are reprising their original roles. Jesse L Martin as Tom Collins is absolutely amazing but I kept seeing his Law and Order character wearing a watchcap. Sorry. However, if you are not choked up at the ending sequence, then you have a heart of stone, my friend.
Fiend of Dope Island: Oh, yeah, here�s some schlock. Also known as Whiplash, this movie takes place on a Caribbean island, which is oddly completely inhabited by Hispanics. Charlie is the island despot in a drug and gun smuggling ring who wields a whip to control every aspect of the island and its inhabitants. And he really likes to whip people, including his own buddies, David and �Doc�, your average drunken doctor. Crops of marijuana are grown for trade, but Charlie organizes to bring a burlesque performer (played by Tania Velia, the Yugoslavian Bombshell) to be his personal entertainer/chanteuse but she discovers the drug crops and organizes the islanders and David to revolt. Charlie goes nuts, and he continues to whip people until he is finally eaten by a shark.
Pagan Island: The movie starts on a rubber lifeboat, containing one shirtless man and a girl in a lei and a sarong. It turns out she�s dead, but the rest of the story is then told in a flashback by the shirtless sailor William Stantson, played by Eddie Dew (who has appeared as uncredited in more films than Alan Smithee). Stantson was on a tanker that exploded a few days out of Honolulu, and he rides in a lifeboat to the shore of an island populated completely by lithe topless women all between the ages of 19 and 25, wearing only leis and sarongs. Nani Maka is a princess who is to be sacrificed to the Sea God but of course, Stantson falls in love with her. All the women of the island have a large English vocabulary but no grammar skills -- in particular, they have no idea what a pronoun is: �Nani Maka want to go fishing with Stantson. Nani Maka like Stantson too.� Anyway, Stantson is able to make sure Nani doesn�t drown when she is sacrificed to the Sea God (which is an utter delight of papier mache) by leading her to an undersea cavern. The next day, when they try to escape, Nani is captured by a large (supposedly dead, there�s no flesh inside) mussel shell, which holds her under until she drowns. The underwater sequences were filmed at the Seaquarium in Miami. And yes, it looks like they�re swimming in a huge aquarium. Running at about 60 minutes, this movies drags out for what seems like 10 hours. Enjoy the occasional nipple shot as the girls sometimes forget to hold their leis down to their chests. Catering was provided by:
Or not. Who knows?