Fashion Show for the Season of the Witch
Friday, Feb. 09, 2007 at 9:10 a.m.
On this day in 2002, the Valkyrie meets the future Hubster in an Italian deli. He�s cute and he keeps smiling at her. Even though her tummy�s gone all gibbly, she still invites him to a Mardi Gras party at her house.
And so it starts.
Conversation with Hubster:
Valkyrie: Really, just how good of a smuggler could Han Solo have been?
Hubster: What do you mean?
Valkyrie: Well, everyone knew who he was and what the Millenium Falcon looked like. Just how covert could he be?
Hubster: He was only well-known on Tattooine. Tattooine was a smuggler�s hangout, or at least Mos Eisley was. Out in the Empire, he could be as covert as he wanted to.
Valkyrie: Well, yeah, until he dumped that shipment out in space and Jabba the Hutt put a price on his head.
Hubster: But he could do the Cordero run in 3 parsecs!
Valkyrie: What the hell is a parsec anyway?
Hubster: It�s actually a measure of distance, not time, so George Lucas messed that one up there. Anyone could do the Cordero run in 3 parsecs.
Valkyrie: How many people know what a parsec is, though?
Hubster: I know what a parsec is.
Valkyrie: Yes, but you�re a geek.
Hubster: But you love me.
Aren�t we so disgustingly cute? Like Saccharin Mary Sunshine Soft Puppy Springtime Warm-from-the-Dryer Towels Cute?
Remember TAB with saccharin? I thought it tasted better back then. My Dad drank it by the gallon, it seemed. He�d be working in the yard or on one of the cars and he�d send me to the 7-11 down the road on my bicycle after a Big Gulp of the stuff for him. I had a basket on my handlebars that was perfect for the transport of Big Gulps for Daddy. And it kept me from having to get my hands mucky in the greasy engine of Mom�s old Pinto. Yeah, she had one of the exploding ones, too. It was a chartreuse yellow hatchback with forest green vinyl seats and it was ugly as sin. I remember a guy at the Amoco station would always top off her transmission fluid for her, even though it was a self-serve station, but they did auto service there too. I remember that guy was accidentally run over and killed at that station one day. It made Mom very sad, because she liked that fellah. I�m sorry I don�t remember your name, Amoco service station dude. Rest in piece, and I hope you�re the head mechanic on God�s Cadillac.
Seriously, what kind of car would God drive? An El Dorado? A BMW? A cranky old Mitsubishi pickup with old tools and beer bottles in the back?
Speaking of a cranky old Mitsubishi pickup with old tools and beer bottles in the back, here�s a new installment of redneck photos:
Well, shoot, Enos, iffen yer usin� the old shell fer yer dawgs, what�re we gonna go huntin� in?
How about a brand-new motorhome?
And in the summer months, you can covert it to a pool:
But for really special occasions, you can�t go wrong with the stretch pickup:
Then you can take your girl to a huge event where she can win something really special:
Whoo! A date like that would give me the vapors, fo�sho.